Episode 19 | Stop Being A Victim To Your Money Circumstance | The Unstoppable Mind Podcast with Mary Lou Rodriguez

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Transcript

Unknown Speaker  0:00  
Hello unstoppables you are listening to the unstoppable mind podcast. And today, we are going to talk about how to stop being a victim to money and how to stop being a victim to your money circumstances. So stay tuned because you are in for a treat. Hello unstoppables. I'm your host, Mary Lou Rodriguez, and welcome to this episode, where we are going to talk about victim mentality and taking responsibility for our lives. When it comes to our money mindset. And our money circumstances. I was listening to no doubt recently, and I heard the song sunny Sunday morning. And Gwen Stefani starts the song off with sad, pathetic, little me. That was the girl I used to be. And when I heard that, that line, I totally related to that, because that is how I used to view my world through the lens of feeling sad and pathetic. through the lens of trauma and anxiety and addiction and alcohol abuse. Growing up poor. Being a first generation Mexican American born in this country, my parents were from Mexico, the Mexican, I forgot about that one being Mexican. I felt like the world, the world owed me. And I felt like I had to work hard. My I used to say that my ex has been left me and my mom died. So I have no one to take care of me. And that is honestly how I used to view the world. I was constantly looking for something, or someone to save me. And I had a million reasons. Now in honesty, they were excuses. And I can see that now. But at the time, I saw them as reasons. I had a million reasons for why I was a victim. Now, here's the thing. If you had asked me at that time, why I was a victim, I would have said what are you talking about? I had no clue, because I wasn't aware of my victim mentality. So I just want to say that this episode might trigger you. And I want to encourage you to stay on and to continue listening. Because there's so much gold here in what I'm going to share with you, and how to help you become unstuck and how to help you look at your life and your money through a different lens. I want to share with you my story of how I went from power lists, to empowered to standing in my personal power. Because there was a time in my life where I was a total victim, a victim to my circumstances, but especially a victim to my money circumstances. And it was keeping me blocked. And I could not figure out why. So I know that I've talked about money mindset in earlier podcasts. And for a long time. And I can say this now, but for a long time, money was like my arch enemy. And my first memories of of, of, of hard work. Were being in a strawberry fields. Like I literally remember I was four years old and I was in a strawberry field. And my family was picking strawberries. And this wasn't for leisure. This was a way of life. And not only did we pick strawberries, but we picked blueberries and blackberries and cucumbers and walnuts. I spent many summers working out all of my summers until I was in sixth grade. And then in sixth grade I started working in a cannery. But I spent all of my summers working in the fields, hard work, sweating. There was no such thing as vacations, and there was no sound I remember like when people were talking about where they went for vacation when I was in elementary school and I was like vacation. I couldn't even imagine what a vacation was like. What I could imagine. Was that everyone Every summer I dreaded it, because I knew that we were going to be working in the fields. And my sister and I would sleep with our work clothes on, because we knew that we had to get up at four in the morning. Now, that's just how it was. for us. It was our way of life. We grew up poor. And I knew we were poor. And I took that mindset with me throughout my entire life through my 20s. And through my 30s. I grew up in scarcity, and in lack. And so that became the lens in which I saw the world through. Everything was about not being enough. And over time, that was just what I was programmed and conditioned to believe that there wasn't enough. So I saw the world from a broke mindset. And even when I did have a little bit of money, I remember getting a small inheritance from someone. And I still felt totally broke. It wasn't enough. And that's just how I saw life. There was not enough happiness, there was not enough love. There was not enough stability, not enough success. Everything was hard. Life was hard. And that's what I knew. That's what I believed. And what I didn't understand was that I was really playing a victim, a victim to my circumstances, I was allowing my circumstances to dictate how I felt about life. That was the box. That was the conditioning that was on top of my head. That was what I was living in. And so because I was broke all the time, I thought that that meant that I had to feel sad to I didn't know about choices, then

Unknown Speaker  7:04  
I want to share with you the first time in my life, that I was called out for being a victim to my circumstances. And this was by a woman. And her name is Brenda, Brian. forever grateful to Brenda Bryan. I joined her speakers club, she had a speaker's club. And I remember that I knew that I had to be a good speaker, because I knew that that was a part of business success. And so I felt like I had to do it because I wanted to be comfortable speaking in front of groups, and I wanted to gain that skill. And what was interesting, again, was at that time, it wasn't because I loved public speaking. I mean, I know a lot of people don't love public speaking. But it was because I had to, I had this, I have to mindset, I have to be a better speaker. It was always I have to do these things. It was never about choice. I didn't see it that way. And now I remember that Brenda Bryan's speakers Club was expensive. I remember thinking that. Now here's what I want you to know. Everything at that time was expensive to me, because again, that's just how I viewed the world. That's how I viewed money, I would see something. And I would automatically say that's expensive. I can't afford that. I wish I could go on vacation. Everything was expensive. Food was expensive. Clothes were expensive. Cars were expensive. It didn't matter what it was. It was expensive. And I didn't have enough. And that was the way that I talked about money. It was always from lack. And so with Brenda O'Brien. I remember that I was in her speaker's club for a couple months. And maybe it was a little bit longer than that. I don't remember exactly how long. But I remember that I was totally judgy. And because that's the kind of woman I used to be. I was judging these other women. And these women were wanting to be entrepreneurs. But from my perspective, at that time, they were wanting to be entrepreneurs. They were doing they were learning speaking how to speak in front of groups of people. Further side hustle, or further hobby. They didn't really have to work like Mary Lou. And it just bothered me because I remember thinking I have to be the truth. I'm like laughing at myself. I have to be here. I have to work hard. I have to learn this skill because I have to survive because no one is going to take care of me. I remember there were two people in particular that had partners, very wealthy partners, who were well off. And I remember thinking to myself, boy must be nice to have a rich boyfriend. Now, as I'm sitting here saying this, and it makes me think of my boyfriend, Scott, he has no clue who this old Mary Lou is because this is not who I am today. But at that time, I was very much a victim to my circumstances. And I remember just judging these women, and knowing that I had to be there, because I had to be successful because I had to take care of me. So I decided that I was no longer going to be a part of the speaker's club, because the speaker's Club was starting to interfere with my ability to see clients, the speakers clubs, the meetings were right in the middle of the day, and they were starting to get longer and longer. And I was having a tough time, scheduling my hypnosis clients around the speaker's club meeting, because I was never sure how long it was going to go. Now again, remember, I was a total victim to my circumstances, I had to see at least four clients a day. Now my sessions were two hours long. So that's eight hours right off the bat, that was a minimum, I in my mind, felt like I had to see at least four clients minimum per day. What I didn't really understand at the time was I was totally overworking myself. And I was charging way too little. I was hustling. I was working hard. And I was complaining about money, constantly complaining about money. That was the lens that I saw life through.

Unknown Speaker  11:49  
So at that time, again, I didn't understand choice. It wasn't in my conscious awareness yet that I was a victim. So I called Brenda O'Brien I was driving in my car, and I called her. And I told her that I wasn't going to be able to be a part of her club anymore, because I couldn't afford it. Because I couldn't afford to take the time off. Because it was a lot of time for me. Couldn't afford to take that much time off for the meetings because it was right in the middle of the day. And it was interfering with my money making skills, and no one was going to pay my bills. No one was going to pay my rent, no one was going to take care of me. And I remember being so indignant when I was telling her My reasoning for why I couldn't be a part of her club. And then I don't remember why I said this, but I did. I said, everyone that's a part of your club. They don't really need to be there. They have wealthy partners who are taking care of them. And so I told her, it's just not the right fit for me for right now. So there was a little bit of a pause. And then Brenda, Brian said, Mary Lou. You love playing a fucking victim. And then she said, who's dating who is none of your fucking business? Now I remember I giggled, I kind of laughed, and I got off the phone with her. And it was the first time that somebody told me something like that. And I knew that it was about me. I knew that what she was telling me was the truth. But I was still uncovering this whole victim mentality. So I went home. And I remember lying on my sofa, and I remember crying. I remember crying for like, two weeks, because I knew she was telling me the truth.

Unknown Speaker  13:56  
And I was ready to hear it. I was ready to hear this truth. And I remember sharing this story with a few people

Unknown Speaker  14:08  
who wanted to defend me and saying things like, well, Brenda, Brian didn't have to be so harsh. And maybe you triggered the shit out of her. And maybe I did. But she told me the fucking truth. And I am so grateful to her for that. And I remember telling people don't don't, you know, don't try to defend me. Don't try to tell me that she was in the wrong because I knew that she wasn't. Now maybe her delivery. Maybe her delivery was off. But it was the truth. And I needed to hear that truth. And I was ready to hear that Truth. So that was like my first experience where I started having these awarenesses. And I began to hear myself saying things like, that's not fair. No one told me, I didn't know that I couldn't do that. And then I would place blame on others for my actions. And sometimes, my victim mentality was very subtle. And then sometimes it was very, very big and overt. And I began to see that I was blaming my circumstances, for my life, for the way that I was feeling. And I was holding on to trauma, I was holding on to addiction. And the truth is, I was looking for someone to save me. And it took me a really long time to admit that. But that's the truth. And I knew that in order to change, I had to take responsibility. Now I know it's a choice. But I knew I had to start taking responsibility for my life, and for my money. And one day, I looked in the mirror, and I smiled at myself. And I said, this is the person that I've been waiting for my entire life to save me, getting goosebumps. I realized in that moment, that I could save myself. And I finally felt it to be true. So I stopped blaming, and I stopped complaining about money. And I want you to know that anytime you find yourself blaming, feeling powerless, being defensive, judgemental, projecting, rationalizing, justifying, making excuses, you are in victim mentality. And when you are in victim mentality, you are not being 100% responsible for your actions. And I knew that if other people could get rich, so could I. And so I began to be fully accountable and fully responsible for my actions. I knew that if I didn't have it, it was because I was not responsible for creating it.

Unknown Speaker  17:35  
And maybe this is you. And maybe this might piss you off. But I want you to see this as an opportunity to grow.

Unknown Speaker  17:47  
My mentor, Jim Forton, told me when you are 100% responsible, you can create anything in your life. And I wanted to stand in my power with money. So how did I do that? Because my money story has changed. I am not a victim to my money circumstances. What I did was I programmed my subconscious with hypnosis, to have the identity of a wealthy person, to feel wealthy, to feel incredible about money, to see all of the abundance that is everywhere in my life. And I learned that just because I had $200 in my bank account, didn't mean that I still could not feel rich. And I'm going to tell you, when you can feel rich with $200. That's when you've changed your relationship with money. I was being responsible for how I was going to create this new relationship with money. And that my friends became my superpower. Being responsible means choosing how I'm going to interpret and respond to the world, especially when it comes to money. I was recently at the ringside in Portland. And it's a beautiful and fancy and well known steak house. And I remember I was in my comfy sweater and I looked casual. And the waiter asked me, Is this your first time here? And it was not? I had been there already? I don't know three times. And I remember when he asked me that question, my mind automatically went to he knows I don't belong here. He knows that I'm not rich. And I had that awareness. And I caught the story. And I smiled at him. And I said, No, this isn't my first time but I'm so excited to be here because what What I understand is that being wealthy is a state of mind. So I asked myself, when I decided that I was going to change my relationship with money, what is it that I want to believe about money? What is it that I want to believe about myself? What is it that I want to believe about my life, and you better believe I programmed that shit, right into my beautiful mind. I programmed that identity, I programmed new beliefs, I program new habits. And I programmed a new wealthy state of mine mind getting all excited here. So here's what I want to share with you. For those of you who want to understand this more deeply, because there is a lot more here to dive into. I want to invite you to join me for a seven day brain hack to attract money challenge, you're going to get a free hypnosis audio that I'm going to ask you to listen to every day, called, I am already abundant. And then I'm going to do three lives. during that seven days, I'm going to teach you about identity and I'm going to teach you about money mindset. I'm going to teach you about habits, and about wealth, and how it really truly is a state of mind. And when you can believe it in your mind, your external circumstances begin to change. So we are going to program in new money beliefs. And we are going to unlock infinite possibilities through the power of hypnosis. So I want you to only join this challenge. If you want to stop being a victim to your money stories and your money circumstances. We are going to have so much fun. I want you to come and I want you to learn to be unstoppable with money. So the link is going to be in the show notes. And I look forward to seeing you in the challenge. Until the next time. Go out there and live your unstoppable life.

Unknown Speaker  22:23  
I would love if you shared today's episode with your friends and loved ones. Please share it on your social media channels. And make sure to subscribe to the podcast. I believe that we are all here to help others. Together, we can help more people. I would be so grateful for a five star review. And I'm also grateful that you took the time to let me know how this podcast is helping you. If you want more transformational content, connect with me on Instagram at Mary Lou hypnotizes you and then go over and join my Facebook group, the unstoppable mind. Visit Mary Lou rodriguez.com For more information on my programs, and how to work with me until the next time. Go out there and live your unstoppable life