Episode 40 | Releasing Fear Formula | The Unstoppable Mind Podcast with Mary Lou Rodriguez

Check this episode on how to empower yourself to release fear. 

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Transcript

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Hello unstoppables of the world, I am so excited that you're here because on today's episode, we are going to be talking about fear. And I am going to be sharing with you my fear releasing formula. So stay tuned. Hello, unstoppables Hey, it's Mary Lou. And I'm so excited to be here today. One of the questions I get asked a lot of questions about business growth and scaling and the mind and how to truly live in unstoppable life. And, of course, one of the questions I get asked is, How do you manage the fear? Like, how do you deal with fear? And I really thought about this question, because I think for a lot of people, when they feel fear, they don't do the thing, whatever the thing is, I think when most people feel fear, they run from it, they don't know how to process, the emotion of fear. And so I want to talk to you today about how I work with fear, because I'm not gonna lie, like fear comes up in growth, because you're constantly stepping outside of your comfort zone. And so, right now I'm experiencing growth. And I want to share that, I know that it's just fear as a part of the process. And it happens when you're doing something different, whether it's in life, or in a relationship, or in business or in your career. But if you're doing something different, it's going to feel uncomfortable. And you already know that, and I've shared this before that you cannot grow inside of your comfort zone. And right now, I am growing, and so is my business. My business is shifting my businesses scaling. And, and so I am feeling I'm feeling a little uncertain just about the different directions that I'm being called. I mean, it's nothing crazy. But right now, I am not doing any launches. I'm not doing any workshops, I am solely focusing on automating my business. And in November, I'm going to be focusing on writing my book, I've been talking about a book, maybe not on this podcast, but with my left my loved ones and my close friends. And so I'm also working on a money program. I cannot tell you how many people have been asking me for this money program. And and so of course, all of the things come up comparison itis, you know, how am I going to talk about money differently, there are so many people talking about money. And so I get to look at where this is coming from and why I'm experiencing the fear. Because fears come up. And I know that I've talked about fear in previous episodes, but I do want to talk about it today. Because I really want people to be clear on the formula. I call it the formula. I mean, it's in my mind, I go through these steps when I'm experiencing fear when I'm aware of it, because that's the other thing is sometimes you're not even aware of it, what you're aware of is that your body, your heart is beating, your palms are sweaty, you might feel like your throat is tight, or you can feel it in your pit of your stomach or in your chest. You may not even be aware consciously that you're feeling fear. But I know that when my body when I'm feeling the symptoms, and you know, my it might just be my heart starts to race or I start to feel like I'm disconnected from my body. That I know I'm in fear. And I honestly will think to myself, Oh my gosh, my brain is shutting down. I can't think I can't think I can't. And then I'll be like, stop. Okay, so I want to share with you how I process fear. And and if you love this formula, share, you know, please tell me tag me. And by the way, thank you for all of the feedback that I continue to get on this podcast. I truly, I truly feel like all my dreams are fulfilled when I help other people We'll train their brains to live an unstoppable life. I love creating impact I love serving. So I want to say thank you to everyone who continues to share my podcast. I recently received notification from Roz Buzzsprout that I hit 10,000 downloads. And I was so excited when I got that I jumped up and down, I was like, Ooh, I'm celebrating me. Because celebration is so important. And in fact, I'm going to make a little note here, because I'm going to talk about celebration in a different podcast episode. you're releasing all of those beautiful neuro chemicals into your body when you celebrate yourself, and you're teaching your body how to feel good. And I love it. So I'm going to talk about celebration on a different podcast episode. But I celebrated, I was like, hey, 10,000 downloads now, if I may have shared this already on the podcast episode. But I, when I received my first 100 downloads, I printed out the Buzzsprout. And I wrote over the 100, I in really big letters, I wrote a million downloads, and I'm looking at it right now. Because I taped it up to my wall, it says congratulations. Because that's what I do. I'm constantly telling myself what's possible. But let's talk about fear. So, fear can really keep you trapped. And, and really, when you understand that, fear is not a horrible thing, it's not a bad feeling. I mean, fear really, is the meaning that you give it. But let's talk about you know, it's, it's when I asked people, you know, when they asked me the question, how do you deal with fear? And I always ask, Well, what kind of fear? Like, what are you talking about? Specifically? Because I never know. I don't know if it's business related. If it's relationship related, if it's about, you know, shining, you know, more in the spotlight, I really, you know, is it just doing lives? I really never know what's, you know, is it looking at your bank account, because that used to be one of my biggest fears. So, I always ask, you know, where, where's this fear coming from? And then how do you feel the fear? And whenever I ask, How do you feel the fear people go? I don't know. I just feel the fear. So there are tons of reasons why we can go into fear and why we can habituate fear into our body. And a lot of this comes from, nobody's going to be surprised, but it's gonna become its comes from what we learned in our early programming in our environment of origin with our conditioning. Is it you know, fear that people are going to reject me, they're going to judge me? I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. I don't know enough. Who's going to listen to me. And so one of the questions that I want you to become aware of is, you know, I want to invite you to look at your life and just start to become aware of how often you might be going into fear. Now, again, you may not know what you're thinking, but you know, what you're feeling. And so I, you know, used to have my biggest fear, and this is something that I'm still like working on is standing in my power being in my power, which means not people pleasing. It means that not worrying whether people are going to like me or not, whether they're going to judge me or not, that I am good enough, that I am safe to be in my power, and then I am, of course worthy. But a lot of people get into these, what we call social fears, these fears, where you know, I'm not worthy enough, I'm not good enough. Are you gonna love me? Are you gonna judge me? And, you know, fear does come from our brain, but we feel it in our bodies. And it is, you know, like I said, the first part of this formula is really becoming aware of where you're feeling the fear, like what Why are you feeling the fear? And you can ask yourself that question. When you feel it in your body, what is causing me to feel fear right now? You know, I've talked about the amygdala before. And for short, sometimes I call her Amy, Amy, the amygdala. But there was a study that was done at The Dana Foundation, and it talks about fear not being conscious. So I don't want you to be blaming yourself right now. If you're like a person who has fear, I don't want you to be in the I don't want you to be like, oh, you know, why do I have fear all the time? I want you to ask yourself more empowering questions. I mean, I want you to know what's you know what is causing the fear? But I don't want you to get stuck in this story of I have fear all the time, I'm always in fear, okay? Because if you've listened to my podcast episodes before, you know that fear that telling yourself a story about fear over and over again, only programs that into your brain. So we so there was research that there was a research study that was done about the amygdala at The Dana Foundation, and it just contributes, it explains that fear isn't necessarily conscious. And what happens with the amygdala is that it can, it can go off, it's like an alarm that goes off into our brains. But I want you to understand that it's just perceived fear, doing a Facebook Live is not a real threat, it's just a perceived a perceived threat. So I want you to fully understand that when you're having fear that you can then begin to interrupt the fear. And if you've heard me talk about this before, sometimes I feel like I'm a broken record here. But I talk about a pattern interrupt, because you don't have to be in fight or flight. But that comes from awareness that comes from recognizing, okay, I'm having fear right now, what's causing this fear, okay? I don't need I don't want to be in fight or flight. I did not want to have anxiety when it came to money. And even though you know, I know, money is important. It's not a physical threat to my safety, it's not dangerous to my safety to my survival. So understanding that, when you have fear, you know, that your brains trying to protect you, I've talked about this many times before, that our brain is actually trying to protect us. So we don't need to personalize the fear. We don't need to say things, which was where I was going earlier, is you don't need to say things like, what's wrong with me? Why am I always having fear, and then creating all of these stories about fear? So part of the awareness comes from the neocortex, the thinking part of the brain, okay? So that's the awareness piece is that you're bringing it into your conscious awareness. So, here's my process. I'm experiencing fear, um, my business is going through a shift. It's not a bad shift. It's an exciting shift. It's a fun shift. It's a, but it's a shift. And it's different. Okay. So that is bringing up the fear in my body. So I have awareness around it. All right, this thought about doing a money program is causing fear. And, again, don't, I don't want you to judge yourself. I'm laughing because I used to do this all the time. I don't want you to judge yourself, I just want you to understand that you're experiencing fear. And I don't want you to push it down. You know, that's something I used to do is I would avoid the situations that caused the fear. And I would push it down. Like literally, I would try to push the fear out of my body. But it always comes out in some way. And for me, it was through alcohols through binging on alcohol. For other people. It's binging on TV, or binging on food or just numbing out in general. So acknowledging the fear, understanding that your body is in fear, acknowledging the fear, this is really as my step number one. And just knowing Okay, right now, I'm experiencing fear. And I will, you know, actually say this out loud. I'm experiencing fear right now. And when I'm speaking, I'm engaging the prefrontal cortex of the brain. And then, just by saying that you're shifting out of the reptilian part of your brain where you're actually experiencing the fear, and you are in here's part two, okay? Part two is saying thank you brain for trying to protect me. So one, I have the awareness to Oh, and I acknowledged the fear. Don't forget that when I have the awareness and I acknowledge the fear, I'm feeling fear. feeling fear is normal. I don't know why I just whispered that but I want you to know that feeling. Fear is part of life. And you don't have to hate it. What if you could know that it's just part of the process. So acknowledging the fear number two, thank you brain for trying to protect me And then here's what's really important is that you're going to want to move your thoughts to a new empowering thought. Because you cannot hold, you cannot simultaneously hold two thoughts at the same time. You can't be in fear, and then think about dinner, unless dinner scares you. So think a different thought. So the third thing I do is I say I choose to focus on, I choose to focus on knowing that I am trusting myself when it comes to my money program, I choose to focus on trusting myself, trusting myself, this is literally what I'll do. trusting myself, trusting myself. And for me, this moves me out of fear. And it's powerful, because I'm training my brain for a different response. I'm reconditioning my brain, when it comes to my money program. I can't tell you how excited I am about it. But this is the process that I go through. And I don't go into fear. So what happens is, you actually start to, I'm feeling joyful. I'm looking forward to, you know, recording these modules on money. I'm reconditioning, of reprogramming, I'm training my brain, and I'm training my brain to pull myself out of that fear to have a different response. This is what makes it so powerful. So I'm going to repeat the steps, you're acknowledging the fear, don't take it personal. And the other thing is, as I'm growing, and I've talked about failure before, you know, one of the things that can be unconscious is this fear that we're going to fail. And I realize that when I'm feeling when I asked myself some questions, some empowering questions. What does this mean? What does this mean? Okay, what does this mean? You know, I'm basically going through asking myself a question, and then asking myself what it means. You know, there's this unconscious fear that people aren't going to love my money program as much as I do. I'm just using that as an example. But I really did go through. But I realized, I don't ever fail. I don't, I learn. And I grow. And when I can address that, because again, remember, sometimes this is unconscious, I cannot tell you how much stress is taken off my shoulders when I realize I'm not failing. I'm learning I'm growing. I'm curious. So the second thing, second step to the formulas, thank you brain for trying to protect me, because I know, that's the brains job. Step three, I choose to focus on and moving your thought to a new thought. Now part of this formula, and I want to give credit, where credit's due is to Jim Fortin. And he has been one of my mentors for the last two and a half years. And this is really important is to understand that fear is normal, you can acknowledge it, you can think your brain, and you can move your and move your attention. But it's not just about moving your attention, it's really important that you understand you're moving your attention to a new thought. And I like to call the new thought, my new belief, because a repeated thought and a repeated feeling, create a new belief. And I want to have the belief that I trust myself when it comes to creating a money program. So it's not just about moving your attention, it's moving your attention, or your thoughts to a new thought, a new belief, but I don't want to complicate it here. So the formula is I choose to focus on and then move your thought to a new thought. And the fourth part of this formula is to lean in to the fear leaning into the fear. You take the action, you do what needs to get done. So you will acknowledge the fear. You thank your brain for trying to protect you. You move your thought to a new thought, a new thought that's empowering. You lean in by taking the action. Okay? Nobody's going to be surprised by this. But number five, step five to the formula is understanding that visualisation mental rehearsal, self hypnosis, whatever you want to call it, I love to call it mental rehearsal, I am mentally rehearsing how I want my life to be. This is a non negotiable for me, everybody knows I do hypnosis, in hypnosis, I do my mental rehearsal. And I am visualizing, I am seeing myself at point B, I'm already seeing myself serving the world. With this money program, I'm already seeing how much of a difference it can make in people's lives. And I'm doing that in my mind. And so, even though I don't know the how, I don't know how it's all going to happen, I don't need to know the how, what I do know, are the steps on releasing the fear. So that I can continue to take the action to create the outcomes that I want in my life. And while I'm creating these outcomes, or while I'm taking the action, I should say, I'm visualizing myself from point B. And that's how I talk about it. I talk about it as if it's already done. But this is a practice for a lot of people. So it's hard for people to talk about it as if it's already done, when they can't even believe that it's possible. So I'm just sharing with you what I do. But for you, just visualizing that everything is working out, that you are seeing yourself. At the point D whatever point B is the live is done, the funnel has been created, your program has been created, your client that you landed, you're already seeing yourself, you know, serving 10 other people or hundreds of other people, like I always visualize it from point B from the outcome having been created. Okay, hope that makes sense for everybody. So this is my fear releasing formula kind of made it a little bit more complicated than it needed to be. But you know, understanding that fear is part of the process, the you know, that you don't have to take it personally that you can become aware that you're feeling this in your body, you can acknowledge it, you can thank your brain for doing its job and keeping you alive, which I love. You can move your attention, your thought to a new empowering thought and telling yourself I'm choosing to focus on trusting myself, you can lean into the fear by taking the action anyways. And then guess what happens as you continue to take the action over and over again, it starts to feel a little bit more comfortable. And I will say that when I was doing, you know, when I first started doing workshops, I was so scared. But now I've just done so many workshops, I've done so many lies, I've some done so many challenges, that it doesn't scare me anymore. Like I look forward to it. I'm excited by it. So that was one of the biggest things that used to really like challenge me is is speaking in front of groups of people, believe it or not, but it's the truth. And the more you take the action, the more comfortable you become. Because it becomes easier and easier. You're training your brain. So and then last step is visualizing that everything is working, always working out, first of all, but visualizing yourself from point B. All right, Unstopables. If I can say that, let me say that again. All right, unstoppables. I will see you at the next podcast episode. And until then I really want to encourage you to practice leaning into fear. Releasing the fear from your body, having fun with fear. I mean, we don't have to fear fear. It's just a part of the process. Okay, until the next time, go, if I can, if I can even speak today. Until the next time. Go out there and live your unstoppable life. Love to you all. Bye bye I would love if you shared today's episode with your friends and loved ones. Please share it on your social media channels. And make sure to subscribe to the podcast. I believe that we are all here to help others. Together, we can help more people. I would be so grateful for a five star review. And I'm also grateful that you took the time to let me know how this podcast is helping you. If you want more transformational content, connect with me on in Instagram at Mary Lou hypnotizes you and then go over and join my Facebook group, the unstoppable mind. Visit Mary Lou rodriguez.com For more information on my programs, and how to work with me until the next time, go out there and live your unstoppable life.