The Unstoppable Mind Podcast with Mary Lou Rodriguez | Episode 2 | Fear of Failure is Your Dream Killer

Welcome to the Unstoppable Mind Podcast. Today, we will talk about fear of failure and why it's the number one dream killer. And I'm excited to share with you how I look at failure, and how it's just relieved me from the pressure and from the stress of being successful.  I believe that you will enjoy this podcast and I am confident that this will empower you to live an unstoppable life. Stay tuned!

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Transcript

0:07

Hello, everyone. My name is Mary Lou Rodriguez. Thank you for joining me on the unstoppable mind Podcast. I'm a master hypnotherapist and a subconscious transformation expert. I've been called a mindset ninja, a brain coach. And I've also been known as a secret weapon, because I've helped 1000s of people realize their subconscious limitations. And I've helped them to overcome those limitations. By listening to this podcast, you're going to build unstoppable confidence, belief, and trust within yourself. My goal is to help you have an unstoppable mind, and to empower you to reclaim your personal power. And when you do, you'll begin to heal, expand, awaken and live your unstoppable life. Hello, hello, everyone. I'm so grateful. So excited that you're here on the unstoppable mind podcast. I'm your host, Mary Lou Rodriguez. And today, we are going to talk about fear of failure. And this is a big one. It's a really big one. I think that personally, it's the number one dream killer out there is that fear of failing, I work quite a bit with this with my clients one to one. And I worked with it recently in my membership that I have, where we had a month just on self sabotage. Because if we fear failure, we may sabotage ourselves from our success. So fear of failure. And before we dive in, I just want to say that, I don't know if you've ever seen the quote, failure is not an option. But when I read that, I get frustrated and a little bit sad, because I think about the message that it's sending to everyone. And I'm excited to share with you how I look at failure, and how it's just relieved me from the pressure and from the stress of being successful. Because my goal is to teach and to serve. And I feel like 1000 pounds have been lifted off my shoulders, by the way that I look at failure and so super excited to share it with you. And I want to talk to you about how the fear just falls away, it just slips away. But before I dive into that, I do want to just share with you a little foundational work about our mindset. And I want you to think about our mindset from two perspectives. There is a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. And a fixed mindset. People tend to see themselves, their capabilities, their skills, their potential as fixed. It's completely unchanging. So what that means is that when they experience failure, they experience it in a particular way that causes them to fear it. Because if you believe that who you are and your potential and your talents and your capabilities are unchanging, and that they're completely locked in and fixed, that all failure is doing is revealing some underlying truth. So if you fear failure, and you fail, it's revealing some kind of deep seated, inherent fixed shortcoming about you. And maybe your worst fear is that it's revealing that you're not good enough. And that is one of our deepest fears, that somehow we're not enough. We're not good enough. So that kind of mindset, that way of seeing the world from that fixed perspective, turns failure from something that you do into something that you are, that it's revealing that shortcoming about you, as opposed to it just being an experience. Because people with a growth mindset, see the world and see themselves and see failure completely differently. People with a growth mindset, see all of their skills, and all of their potential and all of their capabilities as something within their control, something that they can grow and prove and change upon and enhance through practice and repetition. Now, what that means is that instead of fearing failure, as revealing some kind of inherent shortcoming failure is just some opportunity to learn. Failure is feedback experienced by the lessons, the wisdom that you gained. And so I'm not teaching you how to manage fear of failure, I'm teaching you how to train your brain to think of failure as a natural part of growth. Because fear of failure will keep you stuck. So let's look at it and talk about it from the perspective as a natural process. So if you decide, let's say, that you want to be or do or have something in your life, you have some kind of goal, and you're going to take your first steps towards achieving that goal. And then you fail in some way. But you're looking for the lessons from that experience. And then, most importantly, you apply those lessons, you rinse and repeat, my sponsor said that to me all the time, it's rinse and repeat, Mary Lou, and then you keep going until you achieve the goal that you're looking for. And if you really think about it, from this perspective, you've actually learned and achieved every single goal in your life, through failing and growing, and learning and applying those lessons. And I know that you're like, What are you talking about? But it's true, it's like, if you think about the hobbies, and the skills and the sports, you know, it's like any or even driving, we weren't good at these things. When we first started, we became good as we learned, and we made mistakes, and we learned how to do it better. You know, we applied the lessons that we learned, we gain the wisdom, and through skill and experience, we got better and better and better. So every failure is an experience that can give you feedback, wisdom, skills and knowledge so that you can get to where you want to go. And if you think about it from this perspective, it really does give you freedom because I don't fear it in the same way that I used to. Because I really do see it as a natural process, a natural process. And if you think about if you know of a child, or if you know of someone who has a child, their first two to three years, they've achieved so much. They learn to talk and crawl and feed themselves and interact with others. They just learn how to do so many things in their first few years. And they experience many, many failures. But look at what happens at what you experience. Look at how fast you grow, look at the skills that you acquire, and then how much progress can be made. So it's crazy to me that so many people are stuck in their tracks because they're afraid to fail. If you could just change this perspective and what you see it, it gives you so much freedom. But here's the thing. I just I know that I said that fear of failure gives you so many gifts, because that's how I really do see it. There's just so many gifts that can come from learning and growing. Because that's how I refer to it as learning and growing and progress. But what can happen, and this is where people get mucked up is the judgment, the judgment that comes in, we're afraid of failing because we judge failing as bad. Because we've been taught that failure is bad. So we don't look for the lessons. We just think of it and think of ourselves in in a way that isn't serving us. So when we're not looking for the lessons, we're blocking ourselves from that natural process of success and mastery. And when you remain open to the fact that yes, failure, it does feel bad at times. And yet, we can shift that we can move our attention, we can understand that it's not us as human beings that have failed. My mentor used to say it's only the meaning that you give it Mary Lou, so what kind of meaning Am I giving it? And really this is the approach that I take now right now I'm creating a free masterclass that I'm going to be putting out in the world on unstoppable confidence and I am so open. I'm excited. I'm having fun as I create because I'm not thinking about it from the perspective of what if I fail? I'm thinking about it as I'm open. I'm excited to learn. Do I include a hypnosis audio in this masterclass? How long should I make it? You know, because I don't really know what I'm doing. And I'm totally okay with that. I'm not putting the pressure on myself for it to be right or for it to be perfect. What I'm saying is that I'm curious, I'm open, I'm excited to learn. Another experience that I want to share with you is, when I started doing Facebook Lives, I was so uncomfortable for the longest time doing Facebook lies. So what I did is I created a Facebook group, a private group, with one person in it, which was me. And I would practice my lives in this group, I would practice just speaking from my heart, until I felt comfortable being able to do a live for real in Facebook groups or on my personal page or Instagram page. And it takes practice, it takes repetition, it takes taking that action. So one of the ways to reprogram your subconscious, because this is training your brain. So reprogramming your subconscious, is by consistency and repetition. So telling yourself what you want to believe. And I say to myself, often, I am courageous, I am committed, I am consistent. And when repeated enough times, so not just once, but telling yourself often what you want to believe it will change your identity. And your identity is how you feel about yourself and how you think about yourself. And if you think to yourself, I'm courageous, and I'm committed and I'm consistent. You're not thinking, I'm afraid of failure. You're programming in positive positive statements. And that's what you want to train your brain with. And then not only do I program my brain with what I want to believe, and I tell myself that over and over again, because through repetition and consistency, you can reprogram your subconscious, I take the action. So I want to invite you begin to tell yourself what you want to believe. And then take the action. Because taking that action builds resilience in your brain. And this neuroplasticity, this resilience in your brain starts to shift how you think, and how you feel about yourself. So again, your identity. And if you think of failure as a natural process, and that you're learning the lessons. And when you feel like such a badass, because you've taken your first step, you realize that this is all a part of the process of achieving your dreams. There is no reason to fear failing. And just because many, many people in the world have this fear. And this belief does not mean that you need to have it too. I want you to think about all of the things that you've achieved in your life. There's been so much and think about all the lessons that you went through to get to where you are right now. So stop judging yourself. I say that was so much love. Stop judging yourself, and start appreciating yourself for what you've accomplished. This is how you train your brain. And if you can see fear of failure as a natural process of success, telling yourself what you want to believe. And then taking the action. Boom, you've done it. You've overcome your fear. So I would love for you to share with me your biggest takeaway from today's podcast, tag me on my socials Instagram Mary Lou hypnotizes you and on Facebook at Mary Lou Rodriguez. Until the next time, go out there and live your unstoppable life I would love if you shared today's episode with your friends and loved ones. Please share it on your social media channels. And make sure to subscribe to the podcast. I believe that We are all here to help others. Together, we can help more people. I would be so grateful for a five star review. And I'm also grateful that you took the time to let me know how this podcast is helping you. If you want more transformational content, connect with me on Instagram at Mary Lou hypnotizes you and then go over and join my Facebook group, the unstoppable mind. Visit Mary Lou rodriguez.com For more information on my programs, and how to work with me until the next time, go out there and live your unstoppable life